Thoughts on Sexuality and Spirituality # 1 Introduction

Introduction to Thoughts on Christian Spirituality and Human Sexuality

            There is a veritable plethora of books and articles written on the topic of Christian spirituality and perhaps more on human sexuality.  A few on both.  Some I have read are helpful.  Many seem not as helpful as I think might be beneficial to believers. So, perhaps some additional might not hurt?  My thoughts are shaped by my perceptions and understanding of scripture.  These perceptions come from years of personal reading and studying, the atmosphere in which I was raised, my unique set of experiences, my formal education, years of counseling and attempting to help others, and no doubt to a much larger degree than is probably helpful, by the entire culture in which we live. 

I am not writing as a physiological, medical, social, psychological, biological, or even theological expert here, but simply as a believer in Christ attempting to wrestle with the amazing interplay between human sexuality and spirituality.  This is an honest (At least semi honest ☺) Christian’s attempt to understand and follow revealed Scripture, ie the Bible.   I have observed a lot of stuff in this area of life, and have been called upon by quite a few to help heal broken sexual relationship issues.   Some have been healed and restored, which is wonderful.  Some have not, and folks have gone on in their brokenness and pain, leaving in their wake many others broken and in pain.  Hurt people hurt people. 

I believe I have been used of God to help heal several marriages but I recognize that I too “see through a glass, darkly,” as the Apostle Paul states in I Corinthians 13:12. I view life through my knothole in the fence of life, gather from others what wisdom I can, and attempt to present myself “to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15 NIV  I hope to shed more light than heat, but do not expect to be the last definitive word on the subject.  There is a LOT more opinion available than wisdom in the area of human sexuality.  This blog may simply add to the glut.  Let the reader ponder!  ☺ 

Human Beings Are Sexual Creatures, and God is Not Surprised.

For the most part every person in the world is either male or female.  Certainly there are a few aberrations, and these are terrible and challenging situations.  Genuine gender identity issues have to be gut-wrenching, life-shaping problems.  But those are beyond the scope of these thoughts.

Human beings are sexual creatures.  (Let’s get all the controversy out of the way right off! ☺  This may come as a great shock to some, particularly the very holy and religious among us!) 

In most cases this is physically obvious from birth, and in this day of ultrasound, substantially before birth.  Clearly little boys come standard with entirely different physical equipment than little girls, and it rarely takes a trained observer to tell the difference.   Not only physical differences are obvious, but emotional, psychological, social, and other differences typically become obvious within months of birth to those paying attention.  The only folks that cannot understand that are the highly educated folks that have an agenda to show that there is no difference between male and female except plumbing.  It is genuinely amazing what silly theories can be advanced and accepted by folks blinded by an agenda.  (Full disclosure:  Most thinking folk, this author included, probably have an agenda of some sort!)

Environment can also play a huge role in reshaping these inherent qualities for better or worse, but basically the pattern of male and female is pretty well established in most human beings well before birth.  As to the question, “Is nature or nurture determinative of gender identity,” I answer, “yes.” 

As boys and girls mature physically each develops a greater or lesser interest in and desire for sexual expression, and in most cases a desire for the opposite gender.  This produces an enormous angst in the maturing years for many, perhaps most of us, resulting in many of the typical teenage problems parents are acutely aware of.   The entire sexual experience with all that it involves appears to be a nearly universal desire, and even the main driving force, for most people at some time in their lives, and for some people at most times of their lives.

I was once told, and it seemed wise at the time and perhaps wiser now, that given a compromising situation, biology is likely to overcome theology.  Most youth raised in a Christian home and/or youth group are told regarding sex, “Don’t do it until marriage.”  Having been a pastor for many years, it seems to me that counsel is just about as efficacious as the pastor signing off his Sunday morning show by saying, “Everyone come back tonight and bring a friend.”  It is something to say, it does reflect a fine sentiment, and if honestly followed by the flock could result in splendid church growth.  But, mainly it means nothing and accomplishes about that much. 

Most youth raised in that environment could properly pass a quiz on the question of whether premarital sex, ie fornication, is acceptable.  (Particularly if it was a multiple guess test, phrased in simple terms, with only yes or no as options, perhaps with “No” bolded!)   However, when the truth is known, I suspect the percentage of people arriving at their wedding night as virgins is not high.  As dozens of folks at almost any age have come to me to be married, very few have come as either Percy or Priscilla Pureheart. I think that is much to be lamented, but still suspect it is true.  I am anxious to see if the enormous flood of readers to this blog can correct me at any point, particularly this one.

So, let us explore briefly where this sexual aspect of our nature comes from!?

First, let me state unequivocally that I believe the sexual side of our nature originated in the mind of God.  Now, before you simply shut me out as a religious nut, think about the alternative theory that we just evolved this way. 

Think of the complexity of the whole sexual experience.  How long would it take for a one-celled critter of some sort to decide to become an eye cell, and a brain cell and a muscle cell, a penis or vagina cell, etc., etc. 

Think of the incredible design of even just the male physiological sexual apparatus.  It is stunning to contemplate.  Perhaps some genius should just build something that is able to grow to its needed size, pass water when needed, and shut off the flow when not, tuck pretty well out of the way when not in use, have an amazing array of nerve cells that can be pretty tough and not at all sensitive at times, and at other times display some incredible sensitivity.  I posit the idea that no human being can even come close to building something of that complexity, and human beings are ostensibly the smartest creatures on earth by a long way. 

And yet a one celled critter emerging from the primordial ooze with the average life expectancy of a one celled critter could!!??  Man, you gotta have ENORMOUS FAITH in chance and randomness to believe that.  I simply can’t muster it myself.   Jesus said if we had faith like a mustard seed, it could be adequate.  Such astounding faith in ….. um ….. randomness requires the faith of a giant oak, yea verily the faith of an entire forest.

And then think of the female apparatus.  Easy guys, just think generically and non-sexually here!  (I know some of your minds are wandering.)  OK, that’s better.  The stunning thing is that physiologically the two parts fit together in a phenomenal way.  Go figger!  What an amazing coincidence of evolution that is!  Them there little one celled critters are amazing.  And that does not account for the mental, emotional, hormonal, interpersonal relationship side of sex, or for eyes, ears, noses, giraffes, gnus, and platypuses.  Yes sir, anyone that can actually believe in total evolution has to have incredible faith!  Stunning faith! 

There is no way the entire sexual piece of life just accidentally came to pass.  That leaves only one other choice.  Somewhere there is a designer VASTLY beyond anything the most brilliant among us can begin to comprehend. 

As it turns out, the Bible DOES explain the origin of sex.  And, ….. wait for it ….. GOD HIMSELF thunk of it.  This tells us a bunch of stuff both about human sexuality, and about God.  God thought up the concept of sex, He created it into His world, He placed it into most of the rest of creation, and then into mankind, first with Adam, and then, after Adam had enough time to realize he was lonely, God created Eve to complement and fit together with Adam, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and sexually.  And, those of us that are connoisseurs of such, say, “Yee Haw!”

God created man and woman, and created them to live forever.  They were given free will, a part of which was the option to obey God or try life out apart from God.  They were tempted by the enemy, ate the fruit, and sure enough they suddenly knew the difference between good and evil.  It was a bad trade!  And, man, it screwed everything in the world up!!  You can read about it in the first few chapters of Genesis.  It is an amazing account.

A part of creation was the original Divine instruction to “be fruitful and multiply …”  (Genesis 1:22)   This was before the fall, and makes it clear that sexuality was an original part of God’s plan and purpose.  It did not originate after the world was messed up by the fall.  This is very instructive, because it makes clear that the sexual relationship itself is not bad, evil, sinful, nasty, or dirty.  God intended for man and woman to be able to cleave together in such a way that the two become one.  There is no relationship that can provide closer fellowship, camaraderie, fulfillment, and completeness than this.  (However, no relationship can provide more trauma either.)  It was the very first human relationship created by God, and it was very good.  That is why the attack on the family is so unrelenting.   The family is God’s ideal.

Naturally, then, the enemy of our souls, variously called Lucifer, the Devil, Beelzebub, Satan, etc., wants to destroy God’s handiwork.  Once the fall occurred, the entire world system changed.  Now the world, our own flesh, and the Devil all conspire to defeat, discourage, and destroy us.   

The world and its philosophy is at enmity with God seeks to draw us in with, among other things, what we have come to call peer pressure, which is a powerful thing.  The world is also now full of futility.  Romans 8:18-25 expresses this thought.  No task is now easy.  Try simply growing a garden.  One has to fight weeds, rocks, bugs, weather, varmints, and a host of impediments to get a crop.  It has been so from the fall of man in the Garden. 

Our own flesh works against us.  Our very appetites will destroy us, left unchecked.  Our flesh responds to such everyday things as eating and drinking in a way to mess us up.  Try losing weight.  Try to stop smoking or drinking alcohol, or quitting drugs or any other sort of addictive behavior.  Our own flesh uses regular (and irregular) things to destroy us. 

And, of course the Devil uses both the world and the flesh to mess us up in a host of ways.  Just observe the problems of mankind, and in every realm of life we see folks having a painful time of it.  We see sickness, disease, birth defects, addictions, relationship traumas, rape, kidnapping, wars, foolish governments, betrayal, and at the end for each of us, death.  Have a nice day!  ☺  Life is a beach, as they might say in the Bahamas, and then you die!

When God told Adam and Eve that on the day they ate the fruit they would die, at least a huge part of that meant they would be separated.  Death is separation.  (At physical death, the soul separates from the body.  The body may still be there, but most can tell with a little careful observation, that something is missing, …..  particularly after a few days!) 

Adam and Eve certainly were immediately separated from God.  Whereas the day before, they walked and talked with God in the garden, after the fall, they hid from God.  (Incidentally, this is a highly futile, yet very popular approach yet today.) 

Then they were separated from their inner love, joy, and peace.  Suddenly they were afraid of God.  Whereas all had been peace and love and joy, now there was fear. 

They were also separated from the close and intimate fellowship with one another they had.  The domestic tranquility was profoundly disturbed.  Adam blamed Eve, and tried to blame God by saying, “The woman you put here with me-- she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it." Genesis 3:12 NIV  Men have been blaming their wives …. and God ……. for their problems ever since.  (“If it wasn’t for her, I would be happy!”  “How could a loving God permit wars, strife, evil, etc.?”  Wives, having learned, also blame their husbands and anyone in sight.)

Their children were also separated from fellowship with God and one another, to the degree that one killed another.

And, of course the process of physical death also immediately entered into the world.  Whereas they were designed to live forever, now they became physically finite.  Death even descended into the rest of the natural order.  God Himself killed the first animal to provide clothing for them, and authorized the eating of meat, obviously also requiring death.

Sin can also separate us from family, friends, spouses, jobs, and society.   Think divorce, prison, wars, screw ups, and all the ways people are torn apart.  Sin separates, and one way or another, messes up our world.

The entire sexual relationship became marred along with everything else.  Before the fall sexuality apparently happened, but was pure, wonderful, guilt free, and innocent.   “They were naked and not ashamed.”  (Some today seek to emulate that, but it requires a lot of work and a burying of now inbred inhibitions. ☺)  That all changed when the knowledge of good and evil came into the picture.  Now they realized they were naked, and were ashamed before God and others.

There is another interesting note here.  The enemy of God and man cast doubt on God’s veracity.  “And the LORD God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.”  Genesis 2:16-17 NIV  Pretty straight forward, wouldn’t you say!?

But, the enemy came with great subtlety and trickery to the woman.  “You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman.  "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Genesis 3:4-5 NIV  What is so amazing is that exactly the same trick the enemy used on the very first woman, still works on highly educated folks thousands of years later today.    He casts doubt on what God has said.  The enemy knew that if he could get people to doubt God, they had nothing else to stand on.

Later the Bible expresses it this way.  “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.”  Proverbs 14:12 NIV The reason we continue to fall for the same line is that it “seems right!!!” 

When we doubt God, we begin to define life on our own terms, or really the terms supplied us by the enemy of God and man.  These terms can look good, feel good, sound good, and our entire culture may even agree.  But it still leads to death.  

Lord willing we will continue our discussion of spirituality and sexuality in days to come.  I welcome your input.